I don’t mean to brag here, but I’m a machine.
No, I really don’t mean to brag – that’s not a good thing.
I’ll explain… but if you’ve ever resented your friend’s birthday dinner for screwing up your macros for the week, I think you already understand.
Given a target, I will go after it relentlessly and unthinkingly. If the goal is to run a marathon, I will uncomplainingly and automatically do every training session, come what may. If the goal is to learn a language, I WILL listen to an hour of podcasts every day and be studying grammar between sets in the gym. If the goal is to execute a project at work, I’ll be up and at it at 5am and building up steaming resentment towards those who roll in at 8.
No doomscrolling. No Sunday lie-in. No… joy?
Up to a point, conscientiousness and drive are good attributes to have. But my natural tendency is to take them way too far. If anything threatens the measurable goal, I find a way to cut it out.
It’s basically the lifestyle version of that allegory where AI is tasked with maximising paperclip production and ends up destroying humanity because it’s getting in the way.
And you may have spotted the problem here: the most important things in life can’t be measured. I don’t know a whole lot about what it’s like to be on your deathbed, but I assume you spend more time softly smiling about the time you spent with loved ones than how absolutely ripped you were for those couple of months back in 2026.
So my plan to find balance is to deliberately lower the bar, just a bit.
There’s no point fighting against my nature and trying to embrace hippie vibes in everything I do. But rather than being 100% locked in, my new goal is 90% compliance.
(Yes, I’ve set a target for being less target-driven. Baby steps.)
Every second or third week, I’d rather miss one of my workouts if it means getting to see a friend.
If there’s a 3-day event where I get to meet new people and have new experiences, sign me up - even if other projects have to get put on hold.
And if my son asks me to help with something when I’d planned to do some work, the work can (sometimes) wait.
Having strong defaults is helpful. But 90% compliance means it’s OK to break my defaults for the good of the bigger picture. Still largely mechanical… but a little more human.